Undying IC contact

[aria_ardeinae]

In case you want to send this man a letter via courier bat or something.

Comments

[aria_ardeinae]

I didn't want to know that, as it happens!

What did you do?

Whose human penis was it?

[ Reyson's handwriting is usually quite elegant and refined and usually- well, no, he presses down on the paper too hard frequently. It should be noted that he is definitely doing that now, though. ]

[four_balls]

[Best believe he's noticed!]

Would you rather the honest and actual answer or would you prefer the lie?

[aria_ardeinae]

The honest answer, please. I will not face the horrors of this world disarmed by ignorance.

[four_balls]

[Remember you asked for this.]

It makes sense that the human penis can be a fragile thing despite not having bones in it. But I can't say I ever expected to be injured because of merely sex. And not while doing something that is mostly considered mundane.

[aria_ardeinae]

So it is your penis.

[ He stares into the middle distance. What is his life. ]

[four_balls]

[This is your life if you make friends... "friends", with someone that has no filter.]

Unfortunately.

I'm fine now, but I'm not sure if I'd recommend that experience.

[aria_ardeinae]

Of course, the healing kiss.

I hate to think of what kind of person would recommend a broken member.

[four_balls]

The healing kiss that I'll be hearing about for the rest of my time, I'm guessing.

Iffffff you're into pain, I guess you could recommend it???? Not really my thing, though.

[aria_ardeinae]

Absolutely not. I don't even like having my hair pulled.

[ Reyson has a lot to discover about himself and his kinks. He is fairly confident that his inner desires don't have a broken dick anywhere in them. ]

[four_balls]

Really?

[Sorry, Reyson, he is 1000000% judging you at this point. Because what do you mean you can't even handle your hair being pulled? Isn't that the point of long hair????? Josuke, no.]

[aria_ardeinae]

Really. I fly into a rage and a start punching out of instinct. It's not a handle.

[four_balls]

I guess that it really wouldn't do much for guys given how I've seen it used, I guess.

[... Sorry he's this fucking dumb, Reyson. He'll learn. Eventually. Probably.]

[aria_ardeinae]

What do you mean, how you've seen it?

[ Reyson is the one who keeps asking so who is the real dumb one here tbh ]

[four_balls]

As in usually to, like, pull someone back onto your dick????

[Guess who hasn't entirely understood where else you can put dicks. RIP, Josuke.]

[aria_ardeinae]

Are you saying I can't take a dick?!

[ Most of Reyson's hangups disappear when he's mad. ]

[four_balls]

[OOPS.]

????? Where would you put it?????

[Oh, that's the problem.]

[aria_ardeinae]

What do you mean where?!

Even I know about fellatio!!

[four_balls]

I DON'T MEAN THAT!!!!

I mean, like, outside of that and hand jobs, where else would you even put it...????

[aria_ardeinae]

Use your imagination! I'm not drawing you a picture!

[four_balls]

IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A VAG-

[Wait.

Wait hold on a second.]

Oh my god it's the ass, isn't it.

[aria_ardeinae]

It is. Well done.

[ Not visible in text, the whole face journey Reyson has been going on. Why is this his life, ]

[four_balls]

That sounds exceedingly unpleasant given what the anus is for.

[Because you, for some reason, decided to care about this dipshit, Reyson. Also he's learning today because it's not like he learned anything about how dudes fuck other dudes in human land.]

[aria_ardeinae]

So don't try to use it both ways at the same time!

[ How did Josuke get anyone to sleep with him in the first place, cripes ]

[four_balls]

There's not a good way to, like, wash it out or something first, right????? So how would you even avoid that!

[L o o k. Sometimes girls just want to fuck the attractive man if he doesn't talk. Or they know he's easy to get to do stuff.]

[aria_ardeinae]

Timing. Practice. And you wash your hands and other parts after you are done with it. Do you normally not, with women? Have you been going around with fanny hands, Josuke?

[ He can relate to wanting to get something in Josuke's mouth to get him to stop talking, sure. ]