Undying IC contact

[aria_ardeinae]

In case you want to send this man a letter via courier bat or something.

Comments

[aria_ardeinae]

What do you mean where?!

Even I know about fellatio!!

[four_balls]

I DON'T MEAN THAT!!!!

I mean, like, outside of that and hand jobs, where else would you even put it...????

[aria_ardeinae]

Use your imagination! I'm not drawing you a picture!

[four_balls]

IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A VAG-

[Wait.

Wait hold on a second.]

Oh my god it's the ass, isn't it.

[aria_ardeinae]

It is. Well done.

[ Not visible in text, the whole face journey Reyson has been going on. Why is this his life, ]

[four_balls]

That sounds exceedingly unpleasant given what the anus is for.

[Because you, for some reason, decided to care about this dipshit, Reyson. Also he's learning today because it's not like he learned anything about how dudes fuck other dudes in human land.]

[aria_ardeinae]

So don't try to use it both ways at the same time!

[ How did Josuke get anyone to sleep with him in the first place, cripes ]

[four_balls]

There's not a good way to, like, wash it out or something first, right????? So how would you even avoid that!

[L o o k. Sometimes girls just want to fuck the attractive man if he doesn't talk. Or they know he's easy to get to do stuff.]

[aria_ardeinae]

Timing. Practice. And you wash your hands and other parts after you are done with it. Do you normally not, with women? Have you been going around with fanny hands, Josuke?

[ He can relate to wanting to get something in Josuke's mouth to get him to stop talking, sure. ]

[four_balls]

Of course I do! But I don't really think it's all that possible to wash your ass out like that...?

[He is such an absolute and complete mess and his brain is running in circles trying to figure this out.]

[aria_ardeinae]

Men have been doing it for thousands of years. It's tradition that hails back to-

[ Reyson starts defensively writing about the Courtlands equivalent to Achilles and Patroclus ]

[four_balls]

[Honestly, this is both hilarious and educational! Though he's going to let him finish before he responds.]

I'm not saying it's wrong or anything, I just don't know how you would clean that part of the body out so that it doesn't get a little, uh, weird?

Because, think about it, why would I care or be asking otherwise if I was against the idea?

[aria_ardeinae]

[ Could you not have interrupted him a page ago, ]

[ Goddammit now that he knows Josuke has a personal interest and isn't just being an idiot (he is also doing that) he can't in good conscience not... help... Why must he be accursed with the vice of responsibility??? ]

It's not as dirty as you might think. Use warm water. If it gets weird, deal with it. You're a vampire.

[four_balls]

[Because this is what happens when you're friends with a doofus, sorry not sorry!!!! Though he takes a few minutes before he actually replies to this. Ignore the bits of ink stains where it looks like he's going to write but then doesn't.]

Would you want to, uh, make sure I did it right after...?

[... Welcome to the worst attempt at flirting that, let's be real, is not actually flirting, that he has ever done. How has this man boned. How.]

[aria_ardeinae]

[ FIRST OF ALL, HE PROMPTLY THROWS THE JOURNAL ACROSS THE ROOM, ]

[ That is what the pause on his end is for because there is very little thought to pen delay going on here ]

Damn it all, you were flirting this entire time, you and your phallic anecdotes!!

[four_balls]

[SORRY, IF HE KNEW HE'D THROWN IT ACROSS THE ROOM HE'D APOLOGIZE...]

I ACTUALLY WASN'T IN THE BEGINNING, I PROMISE?????

it just kind of came up since you seem to know a lot and I wasn't sure if you were but then there was that tangent which confirmed that I could??????

[aria_ardeinae]

[ what do you mean he seems like he knows a lot!! ]

[ wait that's flattering actually. he wants to be seen as worldly and experienced and capable ]

Josuke.

[four_balls]

[More than he knows!!!!!]

Yes?

[He's just going to internally scream in his room and is very glad that this is text.]

[aria_ardeinae]

[ There is one thing that must be made absolutely clear: ]

Don't break my penis.

[four_balls]

[Congrats, Reyson, you have completely and entirely killed him.]

I WASN'T PLANNING ON IT!!!!

[aria_ardeinae]

Were you planning on it the first time??

[four_balls]

Nnnnnot exactly but I knew the possibility of it with what I was doing?

But it's not like I'm in the business of breaking other people's dicks or anything, so you don't have to worry about that?

[aria_ardeinae]

I'll believe it when you prove it.

Lol mobile

[four_balls]

Is that an invitation????

[aria_ardeinae]

Read into it how you please.